| Randy's Roundup... Randy Testman Biography |
| Site Navigation at bottom of page and in photos and links throughout. |
Randy (above, at the top of SoCal in a favorite old helicopter) comes from imported Nordic genes that got
mixed with native Cherokee seasoning and then half-baked to make his quixotic American blood.
As a kid, Randy's imagination ran amok in the fallen paradise of Southern California, where his Wild
West was an orange grove and his bronco, a bike. Fantasy married reality when, at age twelve, Randy
became blessed with a stern step-grandfather who had several cattle ranches, some in wild places. On
those ranches he spent summers with a dangerous young step-brother as they bucked hay, built fences,
chased cows, and Randy learned to fall off real horses. Thus Viking blood transmogrified into
Cowboys & Indians, in one---Yee-haw! Elikwa!
Then a demon (in the form of a brilliant and respected teacher called Mr. Wood) corralled Randy into
a small New England college...where he froze his skinny ass off while studying theology, science and
Aesthetic Realism. Randy worked early mornings rounding up cows and feeding calves on the College
Dairy, and spent summers working on the ranch, to pay the bills. He also created two remarkable tree
houses, and built and remodeled other houses, while working with his family and a friend or two.
During these years Randy would at times f-l-e-e civilization and hike deep into the Grand Canyon on
lone treks to camp, ponder, pray—and die (here is the story of Randy's death...and Wonder).
This death defying quest for denouement led Randy to build a log cabin next to a creek in a remote
and rugged mountain area of California. (Or, as his ever-clever older brother put it: “Thoreau-ing his
life away in the wild.”) There were no roads even close to that steep canyon so he carried everything—
100,000 pounds of stuff in 5000 miles of loads—on his back. The boss of the O-Bar-O Cattle Co.
discovered Randy’s place, became friends, and called him "...a f~c!*n mule!” The cowboy added
other colorful words to describe Randy, but that’s the only (almost) printable one. However, when the
saddle fits, you wear it. (Want to see why Mules Rule? Check out this true story and photos!)
Rattlesnakes bit Mule two and a half times and a bear—an angry mother bear—chased him once.
Bears also “remodeled” his cabin several times and a mountain lion stalked him while hiking into his
canyon one night. Mule got even by turning around and stalking the cougar—they met in the dark!
Other wild creatures—misguided government troopers—raided his place in their helicopters and almost
killed him (twice); these lost cowboys begrudged an apology and signed the guest book after figuring
out they had raided the wrong place (again)-so here's a full Mule-moon to show them the way-->
When he broke a foot and could not hike into his wilderness haven for a year, Mule learned
to fly a helicopter so he could still get there. This turned into a business that crashed, with him in it,
when vital parts failed in flight over a rough canyon named “Hell For Sure”---no kidding! He picked
the softest rocks and trees he could find to plop down into, but it was still a mess, and he was stuck in
Hell, For Sure...
Photo of Randy's crash in
Hell For Sure Canyon and
Google Earth view of area;
Big Bear Lake is at top right.
Photos click to bigger.
Story continues below photos of Randy in Revelation Uncovered ('08), painting an old house for his parents ('09)
and as Cowboy Poet Mule, lighting the campfire for his Ride of Ages ('0whatever).
A year after recovering from his adventure in Hell, a deranged (typical California) driver ran Randy
down, and he got his hard head cracked—again. Later, when his body and spirit were failing from the
fangs, bangs and rattled brains, Randy studied and memorized Scripture with earnest prayer and
serious fasting to discover God’s Antidote; it worked. Hooray!
After the dust (and lawsuits) settled from the accidents, Randy and one good trail hand moved full time
to his wilderness home on the South Fork of Mission Creek in the San Gorgonio Wilderness, built a
small hydroelectric system to power the place, and called it “Hiker Haven." Several thousand hikers,
horse people, government troops (and other cowboys and outlaws) visited during the twenty years he
was there. Mule and his place were the hub for several search and rescues so he proved useful as
medic, helicopter pilot and trail-maker while the Hiker Haven proved its name. Then the government
turned the area into protected Federal Wilderness and he was "sold for thirty pieces of silver" by
bureaucratic pod-people, and the Hiker Haven removed, like it or not. (Was front page with photos, then.)
That ended a good life at an amazing and useful place, so a mad Mule took his dogs, bought an old
boat, and roamed the Wild West Coast of British Columbia, looking for a new home. God hounded
Randy until he gave it all up, to work instead building visual trails through Scripture : Ride of Ages
came as a surprise gift from God, so it was first. Then Randy worked for three years to uncover a
unique trail of surprise through John's apocalyptic Master-piece, The Revelation. Working with Dr.
Paul McReynolds, this turned into a precise lexical- literal translation of this unique Bible book, and it
is now available as Revelation Uncovered and Delivered. Each show is a Bible book memorized and
then performed as true to the Word theater around a captivating electric (or real) campfire.
Randy is currently working on a fun and fast thirty-minute tour through the charisma and message of
Apostle Paul, called Paul's Mule Through Corinthians. He also practices Revelation often, doing small
private shows, while he builds a house for friends. Bibleshows are his hobby and non-denominational
function in the Body of Christ; he supports himself as a carpenter and property manager.
Randy is over 150 years old (“Well, some days it feels that way,” the old bent Mule brays) and has
not yet found a lifemate---his intense focus, monkish nature, and didactic spews of unfiltered thoughts
that spring from an absurd brain scare off most people, and leave him always alone...but not really; he
is constantly relieved that through Jesus “we receive mercy and find grace to help us just when we
need it.” (Heb 4.16). Randy has rescued dogs (and sometimes a rescued human) for family.
Communicate!
Bibleshows:
Revelation Uncovered & Delivered
Paul's Mule Through Corinthians
Ride of Ages
Mule's Tale: Haunted Canyon Wonder
Randy's (destroyed) Hiker Haven in the Wilderness
Bibleshow Photos
Index
Credits & Reviews
Photo is Randy as Cowboy Poet Mule in the Ride of Ages.
(Photo links to front-page local story about Randy and the Play.)
mixed with native Cherokee seasoning and then half-baked to make his quixotic American blood.
As a kid, Randy's imagination ran amok in the fallen paradise of Southern California, where his Wild
West was an orange grove and his bronco, a bike. Fantasy married reality when, at age twelve, Randy
became blessed with a stern step-grandfather who had several cattle ranches, some in wild places. On
those ranches he spent summers with a dangerous young step-brother as they bucked hay, built fences,
chased cows, and Randy learned to fall off real horses. Thus Viking blood transmogrified into
Cowboys & Indians, in one---Yee-haw! Elikwa!
Then a demon (in the form of a brilliant and respected teacher called Mr. Wood) corralled Randy into
a small New England college...where he froze his skinny ass off while studying theology, science and
Aesthetic Realism. Randy worked early mornings rounding up cows and feeding calves on the College
Dairy, and spent summers working on the ranch, to pay the bills. He also created two remarkable tree
houses, and built and remodeled other houses, while working with his family and a friend or two.
During these years Randy would at times f-l-e-e civilization and hike deep into the Grand Canyon on
lone treks to camp, ponder, pray—and die (here is the story of Randy's death...and Wonder).
This death defying quest for denouement led Randy to build a log cabin next to a creek in a remote
and rugged mountain area of California. (Or, as his ever-clever older brother put it: “Thoreau-ing his
life away in the wild.”) There were no roads even close to that steep canyon so he carried everything—
100,000 pounds of stuff in 5000 miles of loads—on his back. The boss of the O-Bar-O Cattle Co.
discovered Randy’s place, became friends, and called him "...a f~c!*n mule!” The cowboy added
other colorful words to describe Randy, but that’s the only (almost) printable one. However, when the
saddle fits, you wear it. (Want to see why Mules Rule? Check out this true story and photos!)
Rattlesnakes bit Mule two and a half times and a bear—an angry mother bear—chased him once.
Bears also “remodeled” his cabin several times and a mountain lion stalked him while hiking into his
canyon one night. Mule got even by turning around and stalking the cougar—they met in the dark!
Other wild creatures—misguided government troopers—raided his place in their helicopters and almost
killed him (twice); these lost cowboys begrudged an apology and signed the guest book after figuring
out they had raided the wrong place (again)-so here's a full Mule-moon to show them the way-->
When he broke a foot and could not hike into his wilderness haven for a year, Mule learned
to fly a helicopter so he could still get there. This turned into a business that crashed, with him in it,
when vital parts failed in flight over a rough canyon named “Hell For Sure”---no kidding! He picked
the softest rocks and trees he could find to plop down into, but it was still a mess, and he was stuck in
Hell, For Sure...
Photo of Randy's crash in
Hell For Sure Canyon and
Google Earth view of area;
Big Bear Lake is at top right.
Photos click to bigger.
Story continues below photos of Randy in Revelation Uncovered ('08), painting an old house for his parents ('09)
and as Cowboy Poet Mule, lighting the campfire for his Ride of Ages ('0whatever).
A year after recovering from his adventure in Hell, a deranged (typical California) driver ran Randy
down, and he got his hard head cracked—again. Later, when his body and spirit were failing from the
fangs, bangs and rattled brains, Randy studied and memorized Scripture with earnest prayer and
serious fasting to discover God’s Antidote; it worked. Hooray!
After the dust (and lawsuits) settled from the accidents, Randy and one good trail hand moved full time
to his wilderness home on the South Fork of Mission Creek in the San Gorgonio Wilderness, built a
small hydroelectric system to power the place, and called it “Hiker Haven." Several thousand hikers,
horse people, government troops (and other cowboys and outlaws) visited during the twenty years he
was there. Mule and his place were the hub for several search and rescues so he proved useful as
medic, helicopter pilot and trail-maker while the Hiker Haven proved its name. Then the government
turned the area into protected Federal Wilderness and he was "sold for thirty pieces of silver" by
bureaucratic pod-people, and the Hiker Haven removed, like it or not. (Was front page with photos, then.)
That ended a good life at an amazing and useful place, so a mad Mule took his dogs, bought an old
boat, and roamed the Wild West Coast of British Columbia, looking for a new home. God hounded
Randy until he gave it all up, to work instead building visual trails through Scripture : Ride of Ages
came as a surprise gift from God, so it was first. Then Randy worked for three years to uncover a
unique trail of surprise through John's apocalyptic Master-piece, The Revelation. Working with Dr.
Paul McReynolds, this turned into a precise lexical- literal translation of this unique Bible book, and it
is now available as Revelation Uncovered and Delivered. Each show is a Bible book memorized and
then performed as true to the Word theater around a captivating electric (or real) campfire.
Randy is currently working on a fun and fast thirty-minute tour through the charisma and message of
Apostle Paul, called Paul's Mule Through Corinthians. He also practices Revelation often, doing small
private shows, while he builds a house for friends. Bibleshows are his hobby and non-denominational
function in the Body of Christ; he supports himself as a carpenter and property manager.
Randy is over 150 years old (“Well, some days it feels that way,” the old bent Mule brays) and has
not yet found a lifemate---his intense focus, monkish nature, and didactic spews of unfiltered thoughts
that spring from an absurd brain scare off most people, and leave him always alone...but not really; he
is constantly relieved that through Jesus “we receive mercy and find grace to help us just when we
need it.” (Heb 4.16). Randy has rescued dogs (and sometimes a rescued human) for family.
Communicate!
Bibleshows:
Revelation Uncovered & Delivered
Paul's Mule Through Corinthians
Ride of Ages
Mule's Tale: Haunted Canyon Wonder
Randy's (destroyed) Hiker Haven in the Wilderness
Bibleshow Photos
Index
Credits & Reviews
Photo is Randy as Cowboy Poet Mule in the Ride of Ages.
(Photo links to front-page local story about Randy and the Play.)
